07 Jan Your children live what they learn
Have you ever pointed out a fault in your child or partner and then realised it’s something that you are guilty of yourself? Well, if you have, you’re not alone, but it does mean you may be committing Big Mistake Number Six.
Children are learning all the time both through their formal education and informally through the environment they live in. Their parents are the most important people to them, therefore, what you do matters. Children love to copy and mimic all the time. What happens in their environment becomes the norm. So, if you throw litter out of the car window, so will they. If you shout when you’re angry, so will they. They learn from what they see and they live what they learn. Furthermore, if you say something often enough, they will believe it to be true.
Here’s an example:-
Tommy continually hears himself described as a naughty boy who gets angry and scares everyone. Eventually, he starts to believe that to be his true identity. That is definitely the behaviour he demonstrates sometimes, but he also has many other wonderful and loving characteristics. When children are challenging, I frequently find that everyone in the family sees them that way. Siblings can even manipulate situations because they know it’s Tommy that’s most likely to get into trouble. In the end no one benefits and it definitely doesn’t produce the happy family life you dream of.
When I work with parents using the PACT coaching model, Parents learn skills for life and the whole family benefits. Parents start to recognise the great things they’re teaching their kids and the not so great things. If you’d like to know more about how the PACT model can help you, book your complimentary session with me.
I’d love to hear your comments.